


The Colors of You

by Nomberr



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cheating, Colors, Drunkenness, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, Hurt Ryan Bergara, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Love Confessions, M/M, shyanlibrary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-23 19:21:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17689337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nomberr/pseuds/Nomberr
Summary: Every touch, every moment of physical contact leaves behind a color on your skin. From a handshake to a kiss, from greetings to moments of intimacy, any form of contact is marked by splashes of brilliant hues ranging from gray to yellow. The colors can fade after seconds or stain your skin for the rest of your life, all depending on the intent behind the person who touched you.Shane was stained with dark blotches of black that he wanted nothing more than to scrub from his skin.Ryan had no colors at all.When Ryan is heartbroken and Shane is pining, what marks will they leave.(I was feeling angsty so, proceed with caution.)





	The Colors of You

**Author's Note:**

> Idk if anyone has done an AU like this but basically when you touch some one you leave colors behind and yeah its sweet and sad and artsy so enjoy. 
> 
> You can kinda come up with your own meanings for the colors as you go along ;)

# The Colors of You

My skin is bare. Completely devoid of all color aside from the warm brown tones of my complexion. It lacked what many others had an abundance of...color. All around me, people soaked from head to toe in splashes of beautiful pigments, ranging from the brightest red, to the coolest blues. All swirled along their bodies in cascading paintings of intimacy. Intimacy I have yet to experience. No that's not true, shit that makes me sound like a lonely virgin, which is only half true. The colors come from physical contact, contact that means something. Nothing I've done with anyone has really...meant anything if that makes sense. I've had colors that have lasted a few weeks, a month even. Just haven't been...stained. Everyone's been stained, that's a part of living. Everyone has been with that one person, who's left a mark on both their soul and their body. That is, everyone except for me.

I don't mind...not really. Nobody really knows, most people assume I just hide mine. Some people do that, cover up the stains like it's some deep dark secret. Other's make it their personal mission to show off every splash and drop of color they can. I can't decide which type of person I detest more. On one hand, why should someone be ashamed of their stains? To be able to have a moment so monumental with someone is a wonderful thing, something I know I would be proud of if I were to experience it. So to cover it up seems like a bit of a waste to me. But on the other hand, to show off every single stain you have...make's it less special. I suppose there is something mystifying, about having those secret little splashes of color hidden along those curves of your body that don't often see the light of day. Like a special little secret you get to hold close, tuck quietly away beneath your clothes and gaze at beneath the warm spray of a shower. But to go showing them all off seems to rid them of the novelty, makes them seem a bit less...important. But then again what do I know, I could change my mind once I get one. 

I know I will, I probably could have by now I mean, I'm a handsome guy it wouldn't be hard. But I don't want it to just be anybody, I want it to matter. I want to stand in front of my mirror, and be proud of the colors that run along my flesh. Maybe I'm old fashioned in that sense but I don't care, and neither does Lisa. She understands where I'm coming from when I tell her I want to wait, she knows I'm just being careful. She understands me like that, I don't quite get what I've done to deserve her, no other person I've been with has been able to put up with my whole "wait until marriage!" routine. But Lisa, she gets it. I feel bad, I know it's probably....frustrating for her but I just- I want to be sure before I go making a decision that will literally follow me my entire life. Because stains like that, they don't go away. Sure they fade a bit as time goes by but they always remain. Forever lingering as a dim reminder of the people who touched you (both metaphorically and literally) in the past. That's a lot for me, I can't even decide what to wear in the morning because I'm afraid by lunch I'll decide I hate it. So I've just put the whole thing aside for now...that is, until today.

As I'm walking home from work, through the dimly lit street of L.A. I noticed for the first time just how colorful people are. I push through the crowded street, looking down to see people just coated in some of the most beautiful shades I had ever seen. I don't know why I never realized just how...fascinating all of the different colors were. How they blended together, old faded stains covered by new bright swatches, slowly mixing together into a whole new color, seemingly right before my eyes. I watched attentively as people brushed into me, where the faintest touches of gray lingered on my skin before disappearing, almost as quickly as the contact itself had occurred. I stopped dead in my tracks, running my fingers along where the contact had been made, realizing then just how vacant I was. How devoid of well...anything I was. I felt something stir deep within my core, a hunger, a need to feel something, someone's hands along my skin, someone dig their nails into my flesh and tear open inkwells of purple and orange...god what is going on with me today. 

I tried to push down these...intrusive thoughts as I continued on my way home, attempting to avoid any contact I could as I finally made it to my apartment building. I shuddered as a woman brushed by me as I hastily made my way up the stairs. Was I really that touch starved? I tried to shake the odd feeling as I reached my apartment. I went to unlock the door but found it already unlocked, I frowned, knowing I had warned Lisa about how dangerous that was only a few days ago. I swung open the door and stepped in, smiling as the welcoming scent of poptart's seemed to take over my senses, beckoning me to enter the warm and familiar space. I couldn't help but smile as I saw Lisa sprawled out on the couch, half-eaten poptart's sitting on the coffee table beside her. I set down my work bag and strode over to the couch, leaning over and planting a light kiss on her cheek. Leaning back and watching with admiration as the pink remnants of the kiss swirled on her cheeks for a few moments then seemed to sink straight into her skin. I saw a smile spread on her face as she blinked up sleepily at me, extending her arms in a large stretch. 

"Hey Ryan" She yawned, her words coming out in a bundle of syllables that just barely made sense. I smiled and grabbed her hand, pressing it lightly to my lips. Watching as bright pink swirled through our fingers and down our arms, all way to the elbow, lingering there as I maintained the touch. She giggled and sat up, bringing our hands to her own mouth, placing her own gentle kiss among our tangle of fingers. At this small touch I felt weak in the knees, having to bring myself down to the floor, my height still allowing me to reach with ease over the couch. She raised an eyebrow. "Somebody is touchy today." 

"Mmm what can I say, long day." I rest my head down on our hands, feeling the pulse of color swirl up onto my forehead and through my scalp, as she reaches up and runs her fingers through my hair. I make a small noise of satisfaction and she grins. God this was too perfect. I tilt my head up to look at her, still dazed with her messy hair from her nap, face flushed from laying down. I smile at her and she leans down, planting a small peck on the top of my head. Having her so close to me...so warm, it was a bit much. My breathing picked up and she leaned back, frowning.

"You feeling alright babe?" 

"Yeah, yeah just..." I sighed and sat back up. Looking at her now head on. I glanced down at my arms, smirking as the pink continued to pulse along the lines of my veins. I moved then, sheerly on a whim. I got up and slid over the back of the couch, coming down and landing on top of Lisa, lightly pinning her to the couch. She let out a small noise of surprise before giggling and grabbing my wrists playfully.

"Whatcha doing there sir?"

"Nothing much." I grin and move down, lightly burying my hand in her hair as my face meets hers. The kiss was slow, rhythmic, just what we were used too. This was all standard procedure for the two of us. I pulled back, looking at her lips, now painted a dark violet. I licked my lips before closing the space again, this time with a bit more force, I found myself nibbling on her bottom lip and she giggled. 

"Ryan what are you?-" My hands moved up her sides, lingering at her waist before up to the zipper of her hoodie. She stopped and swiftly grabbed my hand. I pulled back in surprise, face burning a bright red. 

"I'm sorry did you not want-"

"No It's fine I just- I thought you wanted to wait?" She smiled, her lips pulled tight as if strained. I felt my hands shake on the cool metal of her zipper, guilt climbing through my skin. Had I just messed up? I should have asked, god I'm such a dumbass. I sat up, running a hand through my hair. I do want to wait! Or at least I did I-

Red

My skin ran ice cold.

Red, a splash of red. Just barely visible beneath the collar of her coat, peaking out like a traffic sign screaming "Danger! Danger!" Red, red means- No. Can't be. Red is- Oh god. I felt sick to my stomach, eyes fixated on that little splash of crimson, just beyond her collar bone. Lisa tilts her head, noticing my likely horrified expression and frowned.

"Babe what's the matter?" Her voice sounded far away, echoing in the back of my mind, distorted as if playing through a faulty tape recorder. I didn't answer as I moved on auto pilot, my hand suddenly on the edge of her jacket. She looked down, realizing what I was doing just a moment too late as I gently pushed the fabric aside, revealing a red streak along her collar leading down to...Oh god... I quickly tore my eyes away, mouth going dry as I released her jack, moving back and away from her. Her skin felt far too warm against mine, too close, I slid away, scooting to the far end of the couch, my eyes focused on a blurry spot in the distance. She was speaking to me, her words a jumbled mess of apologies and explanations, it all sounded like loud ringing to me, clashing in my head to an erratic drumbeat, the melody of the wordless song flashing over and over, red, red, red. I had to shut my eyes, but the image still lingered, stapled to the inside of my eyelids. Her skin, painted red by hands that were not my own. 

I don't remember getting up, or walking to the door, or sprinting down the steps until I was at the door of the apartment, with Lisa at the top of the flight of stairs, screaming down at me with tears streaming down her face, flushed pink with shame. I didn't look at her as I fumbled with the key, trying desperately to escape. Her words slammed into my back, feeling like bullets embedding themselves in my spine.

"It's your fault! You're the one afraid of commitment!" She shrieked. It was the one sentence my mind seemed to grasp. I gritted my teeth, feeling the words dig deep into my skin, fiery hot. I finally got the door open and stumbled out, into the now rainy street. My skin felt so hot I could almost hear the heat simmer beneath the cool droplets of water. I looked up, straight into the cascading rain-drops. I parted my lips, letting the water slide onto my tongue, so dry...thirsty. Thirsty....the word rang through my head, a single clear word among an amalgamation of scattered thoughts. I closed my mouth and set off down the street, a now clear goal in mind.

Get fucking wasted.

So as any heartbroken man would do I stumbled into the first bar I set my eyes on. Drawn by the bright neon lights that hung by the door, beckoning me inside with colorful images of kegs and beautiful women. I sat down at the bar, uncomfortably damp and set to work. Downing drink after drink, feeling shots burn my throat and bring the faintest tears to my eyes. Whether that was from the alcohol or from Lisa, I couldn't care to try and decide. Time blurred together, minutes ticked by and I couldn't seem to notice or care, the only thing I could focus on was the red blinking light on the microwave that sat across from me at the bar. I don't know how late it was when I was asked to leave, apparently I had too much, I couldn't quite understand what they were saying. All I knew was that I was back outside. It was raining heavier now, the heavy pour soaking through my clothes. I should have worn a coat...I didn't have time to mourn this revelation as I stumbled aimlessly down the street until I found another bar. I practically dragged myself inside, dragging the storm in with me, leaving a trail of moisture behind me that made the bar tender groan. I think I laughed at that, I can't remember.

I didn't return to reality until I was I was on the bathroom floor, with Shane Madej looming above me. He was shaking my arm, voice swirling in the air around me, not of the words he was saying quite fit together. I groaned and rubbed my temples, feeling a sudden throb in my skull. He shook me again and I looked up at him, his expression resembling something like worry.

"Ryan, you in there buddy?" His voice was steady, joking almost, but concern underlaced his tone. I groaned in response, covering my eyes as the bathroom lights all of a sudden seemed much too bright. I heard him shuffle beside me, commenting on how pathetic I looked. I noticed then how cold I was. Soaked to the bone, my wet clothes pressed against the icy tile of the bathroom floor. I felt myself shiver, teeth rattling together. I think I must have asked him what he was doing here, because he was talking again.

"You called me, remember?" He took one look at me again and chuckled "dumb question uh, here could you please sit up?" He crouched down and tried to nudge me into a sitting position but I flinched away from his touch. Instead opting to do it myself. The world tilted beneath me and I found myself back on the cold tile, shaking harder now, feeling the chill seep into my bones. Shane was definetly worried now, he was talking much too fast as he helped me sit up. He removed his hoodie and reached toward my shirt, I immediately scooted away and he groaned.

"Ryan you need to get out of those wet clothes, you're shaking." He reasoned, voice calm yet firm. He sounded silly when he talked like that, he sounded like a disappointed dad. I must have chuckled at this, because Shane furrowed his eye brows in confusion. Then he reached for my shirt again but I squirmed away, muttering something along the lines of,

"Dont! You c-can't see" I stumbled over the words, none of them fitting quite right in my mouth. Shane rolled his eyes and turned around, his back now to me.

"There, not looking! Now please change!" I hesitated, I hadn't gotten undressed in front of of someone...well technically not "in front of" but still, since like high school gym class. At least then some of the other boys were just as bare skinned as I was. I shook my head, rain drops flying from my wet black hair. I was being silly, its just Shane, he's not even looking. I quickly pulled the wet shirt over my head and replaced it with Shanes dry hoodie. It was big on me, hanging down to beyond my hips. But it was warm, and I stopped shaking so much. So At least that.

"D-done." My voice was so much more feeble then I would have liked. Shane turned around and bent down, picking up my wet shirt and tossing it into the drawstring bag he had brought. He pulled out a water bottle and handed it to me. I held it in my hand, rolling the plastic between my palms idly. Shane sighed and joined me on the floor

"Somebody partied a little too hard." He joked, I didn't laugh. I exhaled loudly out of my nose, in an attempt at amusement. He didn't buy it.

"So uh, any reason why you decided to get white girl wasted on a Wenesday?" Now I was giggling. The corners of his mouth turned up just slightly. "Seriously? That's what you found funny? How drunk are you?"

"Too drunk" I rubbed my eyes again, groaning as my head began to throb with more intensity. My whole body seemed to throb with the effort of lifting my arms. I heard Shane laugh at my reply and I smiled. Leave it to Shane to get me to smile during such...dire times. My mind flicked back to what had happened at the apartment, my drunken stupor had allowed me to remain distant from the event, but now that painful memory began to push through my meddled mind. I saw that dark red yet again, it seemed to pulse through my head and scorch through my veins then bundle up in my stomach. I groaned, my stomach twisting. Then next thing I know I'm crawling on all fours toward the stall.

I heave into the toilet. Body shaking with effort as I grip the white porcelain. I don't hear Shane come up behind me, but I jump when his hand is rubbing my back, right between my shoulder blades. I continue to hack and wheeze, tears now streaming down my cheeks as I stare down into the water below me, grimacing at the scent of the toilet that seemed to be currently dominating my senses. I think I let out an audible sob because Shane got down beside me and began running a hand through my hair. God I felt shitty. Hunched over, pathetic, my throat stinging and my mouth tasting of bourbon. I groan loudly and rest my forehead against the edge of the toilet.

"I'm guessing this was less of a party and more of a, drink my feelings type situation." Shane joked lightly, trying to liven me up a bit as I sniffle into the toilet. I can only manage a weak shrug and he nods, patting me lightly on the back. "You want me to give you a ride home?" I couldn't help the tears then, then came out quick , bursting past the flood gates at an unbearable pace. I grit my teeth, turning away from shane as the hot tears stream down my face. I feel him tense beside me, and then stand. I glance up at him and his expression is both surprised and fearful, he seems to just now be realising just how shitty this situation likely is. I quickly wipe my face with the sleeves of his hoodie and take a few shaky breathes. He reaches a hand down to help me up and I take it, I look down as green swirls between our fingers. A simple form of contact, the type exchanged between friends. But still it fascinated me to watch it snake its way between the two of us. The contact likely lasted a few moments too long as Shane pulled his hand away. I run my hand down my face, sighing.

"Sorry"

"You don't have to apologise" Shanes voice was softer now, I wasn't used to that, but then again he probably wasn't used to seeing me crying on the bathroom floor. He hooked an arm under mine and began leading me out of the bathroom, I let him, not caring where he took me at this point. I was just glad he was here, my drunk self was right to call him, he was good at stuff like this, handling a crisis. It was likely because he was so mellow, you could probably shoot him and he would still be most calm guy in the room. It was a good presence to have around when you're feeling chaotic. He led me out of the bar and helped me into his car. I felt childish as he buckled me up, but there wasn't much I could do, if I tried it would have taken me half an hour. So I let him get me settled and then climb into the drivers seat. He paused, strumming his long fingers along the steering wheel.

"Where do you want to go?" I didn't have an answer to that. I sighed and bit my lip, shrugging again. He nodded and put the keys in ignition, the headlights bathing the street in bright yellow, before he drove off down the street. The drive was a blur, buildings flashing by the window in a blinding array of lights and colors. It would have been pretty on any normal night. But anytime a red light came into view I had to squeeze my eyes shut, the scenes from the apartment replaying in my head again like an endless broken record. I shifted, turning away from the window and now facing Shane, who was focused on the road, but still cast me a few cautious glances. Now that I was basically staring at him he caught my gaze before looking back at the road.

"You uh...wanna talk about it?" He spoke carefully, picking out each word as if I would start crying again at any moment, he wasn't wrong. I opened my mouth to answer and closed it again, unsure what to say or how to say it. I felt a lump rise in my throat, I should just tell him, he's my friend he'd understand it just- it seems like if I were to say it outloud, and it would be real. I'm not ready for this to be real, I prefer it as this foggy drunken dream that it was. So I didn't answer. I turned forward and focused on the road.

I kept my eyes on the road the whole ride to Shanes apartment building. Which I hadn't realized was the destination until we were inside. As we clambered into the elevator I stumbled and grabbed onto his waist for support, pushing him onto the wall. I heard his breath hitch in surprise and I had to remain still for a moment to catch my breath, breathing heavily onto his shoulder. We stood in silence for a few heart beats, my hands still on his waist, breathing heavily before I leaned back into the wall of the elevator. Shane cleared his throat, as if that would cast away the discomfort of the moments before. I was too tired to take notice of how strange it really had been.

We got to his floor and he led me to his apartment. It was smaller then mine, but then again it was just Shane. He guided me inside, the house was oddly foreign to me, we had been friends and working together for some time yet I never had made it into his home. It was oddly neat, every thing seemed arranged in a certain way. All the colors were light and matching and crisp. I missed the mess of comic books and basketball posters that was my apartment. But the thought of going back there at the moment made my stomach churn. Shane helped me to the couch but I refused to sit in it, out of fear of getting the fabric wet from my still soaked jeans. Instead I sat on the floor, legs crossed and fiddling with my shoe laces. Shane disappeared into another room and returned with two mugs. He handed me a mug and I brought it to my lips, favoring the warmth of the drink as it warmed both my hands and stomach.

"Hot chocolate, classy" I joked. Shane laughed lightly and clinked his mug to mine, taking small sips. I bit my lip and brought the mug down, staring at the steam that swirled up from the drink. I cleared my throat and ran my thumb down the side of the mug. "I uh, broke up with Lisa...I think"

"You think?" Shane couldn't hide his surprise, don't blame him. Most people assumed me and Lisa were going to go on until marriage. I agreed until today.

"I don't really remember. My head is killing me." Shane got up and left, returning moments later with Tylenol. I took the pills thankfully and sighed, rolling my shoulders back, hearing the bones in my back pop. Shane grimaced.

"Well uh..I'm sorry" Shane frowned, running a hand through his hair.

"It's alright...well no it's not but you have no reason to be sorry." I was having trouble still stringing words together. I shook my head. "Probably could have responded a bit better"

"Nah i would say this is a healthy response." We both laughed this time and I sighed, looking down at my jeans, which were beginning to soak the carpet beneath me. Shane got up again and helped me up, leading me to his bedroom. He began shuffling through his drawers while I gazed around, noticing the lack of decor.

"Yeah I have posters and stuff, just too lazy to put anything up" He backed away from his drawer, bumping it closed with his hip. He handed me a different hoodie and pair of sweats. "Here ya go, this hoodie should fit you better its older." I run my hand over the fabric and set it on the bed.

"You would think that with those long arms it would be easier to hang posters and stuff up." I chuckle and Shane rolls his eyes, ghost of a laugh dancing on his lips. He opens his mouth to reply when his eyes fall on me and he stops, mouth just slightly agape. Confusion strikes me for a moment but then I realize. I was so tired I had begun to take off the hoodie, right in front of him. My bare skin was all there for him to see. I quickly pulled the other hoodie on, blushing profusely. He is still staring at me, with that shocked look still clinging to his features. I groan and pick up the sweats.

"You don't have to stare" I snap, making a dash for the bathroom. I understood why he was surprised, seeing someone bare like that is extremely uncommon, especially for my age. But it didn't lessen the sting of being gawked at nonetheless.

"Shit sorry Ryan I just-" I was already in the bathroom and shutting the door. But he stopped me, gripping the other end of the handle. "Look I just wasn't expecting that." He laughed a bit and I scoffed.

"Whatever its fine." My words are slurred again, exhaustion was beginning to catch up with me again.

"No seriously Ryan what the hell? You are the last person I expected to be-"

"I get it Shane"

"No I don't mean it like-"

"Shut up you ass" I groan and try to close the door again but he doesn't let me. We wrestle over the door until suddenly he lets it go and it swings and hits me in the nose. I reel back and gasp, grabbing my nose in surprise.

"Oh shit sorry sorry!" he's apologizing but laughing, quickly grabbing a towel and pushing it to my nose.

"First you make fun of me now you're beating me up" I groan, voice made nasally by the pressure on my nose. Shane laughs harder and I roll my eyes. "what are you, seven?" He wheezed and shook his head grabbing some toilet paper, breaking some off for my nose.

"No just tonight has been so fucking weird"

"Your night has been weird, try having your girlfriend cheat on you." The bathroom goes deathly quiet. Shane stops laughing and lowers the toilet paper he was pressing to my nose.

"Jesus Ryan I'm sorry."

"Its....its whatever just cmon I'm bleeding out here." Shane quickly puts the tissue back to my nose. We're close now, I can feel his breath on my face, our knees are just barely touching as I'm sat on the toilet and he's hunched down to treat my wound. A few awkward moments pass before Shane speaks again.

"I wasn't judging by the way, nothing wrong with being bare. Some people would even kill for that you know."

"Oh please" I can't help but laugh. "Nobody wants to be bare. You look at a bare person and you think, wow look at that poor sap, he can't get anything!" Shane pauses and narrows his eyes.

"I known plenty of people who would prefer being bare to some of the colors they have now."

"If you say so." At last he pulls away and tosses out the bloodied tissues. He turns back to me and puts a hand on my thigh, just above my knee. The touch surprises me so much a jolt shoots up my spine and I have to surpress a shiver.

"Look Ryan I'm serious, there's nothing wrong with it. Really." Shane sounded genuine, he really was trying to help me feel better about this whole being bare thing. I end up shrugging.

"Its whatever, I don't really care." But I did, that much was obvious. Lisa cheated because I wanted to stay bare. Lisa didn't love me because I- I shut my eyes, her harsh words echoing again through my mind."

"You alright?" Shanes worried voice cuts through the thoughts and I nod feebly and get up. But Shane stands at the same time and we knock into each other, I look down at where his arm brushed mine and I'm surprised to see the faintest hint of a light blue. Light blue? I haven't seen that color before. Shane quickly steps away from me and out of the bathroom. I pause and consider the odd color, wondering what it could mean. Shane throws the sweat pants into the bathroom, snapping me from my confusion. Once Shane leaves I quickly change, having to roll up the bottom of the sweats several times so they didn't drag on the floor. I walked back out into the living room, looking and feeling a bit like a toddler.

"Its a good look for you"

"Yes very high fashion." We laugh. It feels good to laugh. To have something good and warm reside in my stomach, alongside the hate and regret that currently occupied the space. I shuffled into the living room and sat down on the chair that sat adjacent to the couch and the tv, where Shane had put on "Americas Funniest Home Videos." I watched, not really focused on the show but instead on Shane.

Light blue?

Strange. I tried to ignore what had happened but the image of this color continued to spring back to my attention. Maybe it was my mind trying to distract myself from the Lisa situation, honestly I didn't care either way. I had to know what that color was. There's only one way to find out. I got up from the chair and moved over to the couch, commenting on how the chair was uncomfortable. I shuffled next to him, wanting to break the unspoken rule of distance between the two of them, but not wanting to make things weird. Apparently I didn't have to however, as Shane did that on his own.

"So you haven't ever-"

"Shane!"

"I'm sorry I just can't believe it!" Shane laughs, shaking his head profusely. "You don't look like the type to be...chaste"

"I'm not chaste!" Was I? Maybe.

"I know, I know I'm just joking."

"Why is it so hard to believe hm? Is it my unbearably good looks?" I wiggle my hips, just a bit. The alcohol definetly giving me a bit more confidence then usual. Shane turns a bright red and looks away.

Odd.

Normally something like that would make me worried, uncomfortable perhaps would be the better word. He's blushing, over me. Shane, my best friend. That's weird. But then again, this whole night has been fucking weird. There's also that light blue... I adjust in my seat, letting my leg brush his, there it is again. Shane quickly pulls his leg away. I try to continue the conversation.

"And what do you mean people would want to be bare? Who the hell would want that?"

"I don't know, maybe people have stains they're not proud of." Shane shrugs, now becoming very interested in a loose string on the couch.

"Well yeah I get that but every one has stains they regret, doesn't mean they want to be bare." I gaze at Shane, but he doesn't look at me, his expression darkens. I try to ignore the bad feeling that's begun to creep up my spine. "Why uh...do you know anybody who does, cause i would gladly trade places." Shane does this small, fake sounding laugh and goes to get off the couch. My stomach clenches and I grab his wrist, I don't know why. I look at where my hand grasps his, how the blue swirls around in a cloud-like pattern. He looks down and notices it too and quickly pulls away, running a hand through his hair frantically.

"Look its not what it looks like-" He notices my confused expression and winces.

"Looks like what- I mean, what does that mean?"

"What does what mean?" Shane smiles uncomfortably, I grab his hand, nodding at the blue.

"That." Shane blushes, looking like cotton candy the mix of blue on his hand and pink on his cheeks. He bites his lip.

"Look tonight isn't a good night to be talking about this you and Lisa-"

"Fuck Lisa what does this mean Shane." I had a sneaking suspicion I knew. But I wanted to hear him say it.

"Ryan-"

"Shane" My eyes were pleading. I needed to hear him say it, I needed to hear anyone say it.

"I like you. More then a friendly way that's what that means." he pulls his hand back. "And you don't feel the same way, and that's fine really."

"How do you know I-"

"It would be Pink if it was, you know that Ryan"

The silence in the air hangs heavy. I open and close my mouth a few times, trying to think about what to say. Shane just shakes his head and chuckles.

"Its fine really- look you've had a long night I don't want to stress you out anymore then I already have you should just rest. " Even after confessing he has feelings for his best friend, he still remains the most calm person in the room, that's kinda like being shot right? It must be, to like someone and know that they don't- I thought of Lisa. How it felt to see that Red on her slin, how much that realization burned

My red was Shanes blue.

One I realized that I was on my feet. Arms wrapping around Shane in the tightest embrace my tired limbs could manage. Shane stumbled a bit, surprised by the assault. He slowly brought his arms around me, one wrapping around my head and bring my face close to his chest. It was so warm there in his arms, it almost burned. To be touching someone so much, all at once. It was like suffocating and flying at the same time. I was burning up I should pull away but yet, there was something so good, so right about being there in his arms. We seemed to melt together, reds and blues faded away, seeping straight out through our feet and out of our memories. All I could think of was now, and how warm and good now was. How I couldn't make myself step away. I didn't even notice I was crying until Shane started pulling back and I saw the small wet spots on his shirt. He began murmuring small comforting words and wiping away my tears, leaving blue streaks along my cheeks.

"Its alright." He murmured, pulling me back in and burying his hand in my hair, I cough and cry, reaching up and clutching his shirt in my fists.

"Its not fair" I sob, my throat aching. "Its not-" I choke on the words and my knees buckle. Shane brings me slowly to the ground and we separate. I wipe my face feverishly, looking down at Shanes hand, which rested lightly on my thigh. My jaw clenched. "You care about me and I've been off caring about somebody who doesn't give a shit." I cough again, not caring as the tears fell down onto my- Shanes sweats. I look up at him and shake my head adamantly as our eyes meet. "Not anymore"

I come forward, we crash together. Two seas of red and blue meeting in a brilliant wave of purple. My lips meet his in a messy, violet kiss. My hands go up, cupping his cheeks, watching as purple seeped into his pores. He sits still, shocked for a moment before his hands begin roaming my body, sliding up my back and my sides. I feel hot tears slide down from my face onto his, I don't care. We part for a moment to breath, our foreheads pressed together. Shane lets out a small wheezy laugh.

"Not what I was expecting when you drunk dialed me to be honest". I laughed, its much too loud and so out of a place but I don't care. We kiss again, softer at first and then with more passion. I feel his hands start to lift my shirt then hesitate. I lift my arms and he smiles, pulling the shirt over my head. My hands immediately come back down to grab his but he tenses up and grabs my wrist. I frown and pull back, tilting my head. He opens his mouth to speak but quickly shuts it, instead going to pull his own shirt off. Beneath it, a sight that makes my heart stop dead in it's tracks. Black Stains, littering his thin pale frame. I want to speak, to ask how those dreadful things got there but he doesn't let me.

"It was a long time ago they don't...they don't hurt as much anymore." His voice his feeble and I nearly start crying again. I reach up and after meeting his eyes for approval, I place my hands over the black marks. Over them, in a hue to bright and brilliant, I left yellow. It covered the black, shimmering like a field of sunflowers. Shane looked down and smiled, kissing me again, hands roaming back down my chest and my sides, painting me with his very own shade of yellow. Yellow wasn't purple or pink, it wasn't love or passion, it was simply the color of pure joy. So as our bodies met, in a tangle of pinks and violets, the color that shone the most was the yellow. Which we both left on every bump and curve of skin we could get our hands on. Both my blank canvas and Shanes stained one was coated in the array of hues and tones. So that when we awoke side by side the next morning, the light filtering through Shanes bedroom window, we could see the color of each other, reflecting onto the white ceiling above.

**Author's Note:**

> Holy fuck I spent so long on this.  
> I'm really going through some shit rn so I was just kinda writing my feelings away so I hope you like it <3  
> If there's spelling or grammar errors near the end its cause I had to switch to my phone so my b.


End file.
